Posts Tagged ‘vietnam’

How does this feel?!?

Monday, December 1st, 2008

This is how I feel sometimes!! I wanted to say a special thanks to everyone who left me positive comments about my last blog. A lot of people messaged me or sent comments to me on Twitter and mentioned how much they liked it.

Sometimes it’s difficult to expose yourself to the world in a personal way. There is an extra layer of vulnerability. I know I have had friends in the poker community go through some very tough times in a very public way.

It’s strange to be exposed to people who don’t really know you intimately and then having to hear about the negativity in the news or on a public forum where thousands and thousands of people view the gossip.

I am thinking about ways to improve this blog and share more of myself with you. Bear with me as I continue to work through some of my apprehension and expose more of my personal life with you. The hardest challenge is to find that balance between my public persona and the real me. I am always honest in every blog or interview I have ever done. I am sometimes guarded however with my responses.

I feel like there is this thin line between what is really personal and what I should share with the public. For instance just yesterday I received some very bad news about one of my half sisters in Vietnam. I have been looking for this sister for almost two years now.

This sister was basically missing or lost and I’ve been very worried about her. I go back to Vietnam frequently and nobody knew where she was. I just received some news that she is in a very tough life situation. And it’s something I cannot fix. I also have word of other relatives that are also having much hardship. The news is quite heart breaking.

I know others are going through the same type of life problems so I don’t want anyone to have extra sympathy for me. I just wanted everyone to know sometimes, I go through the exact same range of emotions as you.

I have had some recent events happen to me that are quite negative. Some business relationships and unfortunate news with friends and family. The worst part is that I have had people in my life who are aware of this and they still continue to try and take from me. The most unfortunate part about having any type of success is sometimes you have people who surround you that are strictly users.

I understand this is a part of success and now that I have been able to sustain a certain level of success and gain some wisdom, I am better at selecting the type of people I get into business with. The type of people I surround myself with. The biggest revelation to me this year was how much I distracted myself with poker and work. Instead of facing many of life’s problems, I just played more poker. Or I spent more time working on my other websites.

I understand now that I cannot run away from my problems. I came across a video which almost parallels my life perfectly. For those of you who want to know me on a more personal level, my life, pretty much looks like this:

My Love “The Story of A Diva”

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the videos. It’s pretty powerful. I have gone through many moments and times in my life where I felt the exact same way.

The holidays are a really reflective time for me. Partially because I am going through my first Thanksgiving without my father and I really want to reflect upon life and think back to everything I should be thankful for. All my Dad ever wanted for me was happiness.

I cannot help but think about that as I continue the rest of my life’s journey without him. So, in honoring his unselfish and complete love for me, I am doing my best to be positive and to be happy!

I also want to address all of the past negativity in my life. I am washing my hands of unsuccessful business relationships. I am washing my hands of being around people who are constantly taking and never giving.

At this stage of my life, I just really want to be surrounded by positive people! I want to enjoy life with people I love. And I also want to be a little less vulnerable. I want my public persona to be a little more reflective of my private life. So, this is another step in that direction. :)

So, lets all be thankful we have each other to share in our lives and to be positive and live out our life the best way we possibly can. And always be aware of how you affect others!!

Be a positive influence not a negative one!

Cheers!

The Best and Worst of Times

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

After a seventeen hour flight, I’ve finally arrived back in Vietnam on the 29th of July.  Eight months have already pass by since my last visit back to my homeland for my father’s 100th day praying ceremony, amazing how time flies by so quick. And now I find myself back again. This time is for the one-year anniversary of my beloved father’s passing and also I will be spending a few weeks doing my charity work.

I spent my first two days in Saigon to spend some time with my father at Lam Te Temple. Then I hopped on a flight to DaNang with my cousin, niece, and nephew for four days to start my charity journey along with my Teacher monk. As soon we got off the plane, I grabbed a taxi and headed straight to my Teacher monk’s temple to prepare all the necessities needed for the early trip the next day.

We were off and on the road by 6 am, drove five hours on rough bumpy roads to finally reach our destination. By the time we arrived, all the villagers were already at the temple waiting patiently.

Before I began passing out the much-needed food to these villagers, a ceremony was conducted by my Teacher Monk to honor me with blessings. I slipped into a blue robe throughout the ceremony which represents my status as his disciple. Being granted  Buddhism relics is one of the most precious gift for a temple, and I felt honored when my Teacher Monk showed me the 3 relics that was granted to his temple in DaNang.

It was time to distribute the supplies to the villagers when the ceremony ended. There are more than 200 homes in that village so it took us about 2 hours to give out all the supplies. As an appreciation, the villagers prepared a vegetarian feast at the temple for me and my family. This charity journey took over 15 hours on the road, but it was all well worth it!

It was my birthday the day after our charity trip. However, it wasn’t a good time for celebration because I’m here to mourn for my dad. I decided to go the temple to spend a peaceful birthday, my Teacher Monk conducted a four hour ceremony to pray for both my father and I.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my family, friends, and fans for all the kind birthday wishes. Much love to you all!

I spent the rest of that evening and the following day just playing online at Chilipoker. Then took an evening flight back to Saigon. I’m currently still in Saigon right now preparing a big praying ceremony for my dad’s anniversary on the 18th of August. I’ll be here till the end of the month, then I’m off to Macau. Take care till then.

Cheers!