If I were a BOY…
Thursday, December 11th, 2008The question asked of me the most since I started playing poker has always been about my personal relationships! Who am I dating? What kind of guy am I into? I thought I’d spend some time in this blog discussing relationships and the challenges some of us female poker players face.
Well, I am currently single if that is any indication of how my past relationships have gone! Sometimes, it would be much easier to be a guy!! At least I think it would be less stressful. I can go play poker with the guy’s everyday and party with attractive girls every weekend and nobody would think twice.
Not that I want to live that lifestyle because like most girls I am perfectly content with just finding one good guy! I don’t need a dozen bad boys. I know a few!! I am usually pretty good about not dating the bad boys who date around a lot but I find a different type of bad boy. I will explain more in the blog but I am reminded of this Beyonce video:
I don’t really think all guys are bad but yes, I have had my share of dating some bad ones. I don’t really date cheaters but I have had some guys who were pretty controlling or manipulative. I have had a couple take advantage of my good nature and generous spirit.
Most of the guys I am attracted to are very intelligent. I am naturally attracted to guys who are very confident and smart. Unfortunately, sometimes when you date guys who are really smart they have egos and as a result some of them can be manipulative or controlling as a result.
As far as being a female poker player, it just complicates dating a little more. I have a really hectic schedule. I don’t have a typical 9 to 5 where I can meet a guy in a more normal setting. Most of the guys I meet are indirectly involved with poker somehow or some piece of poker business.
I don’t date poker players however! To me they are like my co-workers and if it doesn’t work out, you have no where to go or hide if it gets ugly. Your personal life gets spilled over to everyone else in the community. As a general rule of thumb, it’s a pretty bad idea to date other poker players.
I have been playing for a living since I was 18 and I learned a long time ago, if you don’t have respect among the guys you play with, it’s going to be a long hard road! As female poker players we are in a difficult spot. You’re not looked upon as favorably if you bounce around dating different guys in the poker community.
I am much better off just playing poker and making a living and not getting into any of the extracurricular drama. It’s not really that big of a community. Many players know each other quite well and you bump into everyone at all of the major events. It’s better if the other guys recognized you as a peer and just keep it at that.
Not to say it’s completely off limits. I haven’t met the right poker player yet, but I know of some really good relationships between players and when it works out like it has for Marco Traniello and Jennifer Harmon-Traniello, it can be a really great thing because it’s difficult to find guys who understand your lifestyle so there is some upside.
Mostly, finding a good partner is just difficult. I don’t think it’s easy for anyone to date because guys and girls are so different but playing poker isn’t really the ideal circumstance either. I am sure it’s complicated my life because I really prefer normal guys and I don’t get a chance to meet them often enough.
As of now, I haven’t met the perfect guy yet. That’s really all I can say about my personal relationships. I hang out with a lot of poker players but those guys are like my peers. I don’t really get involved with them. If you want to send a good guy my way for Christmas, send me his resume!
Right now, I feel like Beyonce. I feel like I’ve had some lost opportunities because a couple of guys I dated in the past didn’t know how to treat a woman and I just look forward to the day I can meet a guy who understands how to be a gentlemen and how to treat women. Most importantly Honesty and Loyalty is on the top of my list!!
Until then, I am going to focus on Poker because you cannot really ever plan to meet a good guy. It just happens by chance and when it comes along you run with it. Good things will come when you least expect it! For now, I have the main event of the Bellagio Five Diamond coming up this weekend. My biggest priority at the moment is to clear my head and get into the best mental state as possible to have a successful tournament.
Until next time… Cheers!
