If I were a BOY…
The question asked of me the most since I started playing poker has always been about my personal relationships! Who am I dating? What kind of guy am I into? I thought I’d spend some time in this blog discussing relationships and the challenges some of us female poker players face.
Well, I am currently single if that is any indication of how my past relationships have gone! Sometimes, it would be much easier to be a guy!! At least I think it would be less stressful. I can go play poker with the guy’s everyday and party with attractive girls every weekend and nobody would think twice.
Not that I want to live that lifestyle because like most girls I am perfectly content with just finding one good guy! I don’t need a dozen bad boys. I know a few!! I am usually pretty good about not dating the bad boys who date around a lot but I find a different type of bad boy. I will explain more in the blog but I am reminded of this Beyonce video:
I don’t really think all guys are bad but yes, I have had my share of dating some bad ones. I don’t really date cheaters but I have had some guys who were pretty controlling or manipulative. I have had a couple take advantage of my good nature and generous spirit.
Most of the guys I am attracted to are very intelligent. I am naturally attracted to guys who are very confident and smart. Unfortunately, sometimes when you date guys who are really smart they have egos and as a result some of them can be manipulative or controlling as a result.
As far as being a female poker player, it just complicates dating a little more. I have a really hectic schedule. I don’t have a typical 9 to 5 where I can meet a guy in a more normal setting. Most of the guys I meet are indirectly involved with poker somehow or some piece of poker business.
I don’t date poker players however! To me they are like my co-workers and if it doesn’t work out, you have no where to go or hide if it gets ugly. Your personal life gets spilled over to everyone else in the community. As a general rule of thumb, it’s a pretty bad idea to date other poker players.
I have been playing for a living since I was 18 and I learned a long time ago, if you don’t have respect among the guys you play with, it’s going to be a long hard road! As female poker players we are in a difficult spot. You’re not looked upon as favorably if you bounce around dating different guys in the poker community.
I am much better off just playing poker and making a living and not getting into any of the extracurricular drama. It’s not really that big of a community. Many players know each other quite well and you bump into everyone at all of the major events. It’s better if the other guys recognized you as a peer and just keep it at that.
Not to say it’s completely off limits. I haven’t met the right poker player yet, but I know of some really good relationships between players and when it works out like it has for Marco Traniello and Jennifer Harmon-Traniello, it can be a really great thing because it’s difficult to find guys who understand your lifestyle so there is some upside.
Mostly, finding a good partner is just difficult. I don’t think it’s easy for anyone to date because guys and girls are so different but playing poker isn’t really the ideal circumstance either. I am sure it’s complicated my life because I really prefer normal guys and I don’t get a chance to meet them often enough.
As of now, I haven’t met the perfect guy yet. That’s really all I can say about my personal relationships. I hang out with a lot of poker players but those guys are like my peers. I don’t really get involved with them. If you want to send a good guy my way for Christmas, send me his resume!
Right now, I feel like Beyonce. I feel like I’ve had some lost opportunities because a couple of guys I dated in the past didn’t know how to treat a woman and I just look forward to the day I can meet a guy who understands how to be a gentlemen and how to treat women. Most importantly Honesty and Loyalty is on the top of my list!!
Until then, I am going to focus on Poker because you cannot really ever plan to meet a good guy. It just happens by chance and when it comes along you run with it. Good things will come when you least expect it! For now, I have the main event of the Bellagio Five Diamond coming up this weekend. My biggest priority at the moment is to clear my head and get into the best mental state as possible to have a successful tournament.
Until next time… Cheers!
Tags: beyonce, lifestyle, liz lieu, men, poker, relationships, youtube video
December 11th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Great post. Just give it time, no rush, the good guy will show up when you least expect it!
The guy will respect your career and the hours you work.
Good luck with the upcoming tournament schedule.
December 11th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Well, I hope you find someone. I could see where the success you enjoy actually makes it harder to meet the right person. Especially, someone you could trust.
Just for the record, guys have some of the same problems. Hard to meet the right lady. Plenty of bad ones out there as well. Like you said, these things often happen unexpectedly. So here’s wishing you run into something unexpected that can sweep you off your feet.
Good luck at the Bellagio this weekend!!! Let us know how it goes.
December 11th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I think your going to find Mr Right in 2009-Really
Your honesty is so refreshing -Your blog is fantasic.
Cheers!
December 12th, 2008 at 12:38 am
I loved this post. You really emphasized many of the reasons why a poker career for women can be so difficult! I myself am a huge fan of yours as well as a poker player who just spent the last several years of my life making a nice living and putting myself through college with the income. At this point, however, I am at a crossroads where I could either pursue even higher education or move to l.a. to grind and network. Either choice will have its obstacles, but sometimes the social burdens of being a girl in a male-dominated arena can be very overwhelming. It can even make finding a regular job and living a square life appealing!
Liz, thank you for being an inspiring anomaly in the industry. I hope you’ll soon meet someone lucky enough to deserve you and sweep you off your feet <3
December 13th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
@PokerPlasm @ Jett @ Wendy -
Thank you guys! I believe that everyone has a soulmate out there, when that time comes for me.. I could finally say my life will be complete!
I will definitely post updates on my progress throughout the day during tomorrow’s 5 Diamond ME on Twitter.
Cheers my friends!
December 14th, 2008 at 12:28 am
Hi X,
Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts and experience with me. I’m very happy for the success you’ve achieved in poker. It’s not easy to do what you’ve been doing.. hats off to you my friend.
Which ever path you decide to walk on, I’m sure you will succeed and accomplish your goals in life. I wish you all the best both on and off the felt!
“Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.” - Your a Winner!
December 16th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
liz~
love the site. think 2009 will be huge for you in poker and life! and as for finding mr right…itll pop up when u least expect it!!
nycfishy
January 3rd, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Hi Liz, Honesty and Loyalty are great principles to look for and also someone who knows what they want and is modest in spirit and a natural hard worker so the relationship can be cultivated to success. I think as you continue on your journey, achieving your goals and making positive contributions, you and Mr. Right will find each other. Best wishes for ‘09!
January 9th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I think you may have already found him, at least he is already in your life; you just need to open up to the possibility that he is standing right in front of you.
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:21 am
Hi Liz.
I am sure you know who I am for now but it dont matter, If it is really like what you said - you are good-natured and have generous spirit, am here to support. I am glad you are confident about not dating a bad guy, but I wonder if that’s true…?!! because it never works if you are still naturally attracted by those smart guys. Sometimes Intelligent guys who are manipulative/controlling enough to cover your eyes by their nature-Honest and Loyal looking always work something out on the way they wish it be. Honestly, as a girl who have had failure in relationship, a normal guy will truly love you as you are who you are, good or bad they will accept from you or they will say it out in order to improve a good relationship. they dont love you when they do a lot explaining to please your thought. Manipulation also appears in a “pleasure relationship” which is really common to such wise guys who are very experience in treating women.
Long story short, am glad you understand “smart gentlemen have egos”. however, I hope you are happy.
talking a bit more, I hope to see more pics of you about Elder Orphanages in the next trip to VN.